My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, For their feet run to evil And they hasten to shed blood. Proverbs 1:15-16
This is the advice given to the son who is being enticed to do evil by others. It is the same advice given in 1 Corinthians 15 where we read that bad company corrupts good morals. The godly father wants to warn his son that he should not be naive about the condition of the human heart. Young men need to know that they cannot trust everyone. They will meet people they should not follow or emulate. If they do, they will ultimately be led astray from God's ways. Here the father says to the son that he should not walk in the way with these people who are pursuing evil. I want you to notice the exact words the father uses in counselling his son. He says, "Do not WALK in the way with them." The word "way" here is the Hebrew word "derek" that we run into so much in Proverbs. It means a way, a manner of living - and should be understood as walking as a lifestyle. The father warns the son that to walk in the lifestyle that these young men walk in is very dangerous. He goes further to say, "Keep your feet from their path." Again a warning is issued that the "way" in which these people walk is not one that we should follow. Too often we make decisions on who our friends are on the whim of our feelings when we are around them. But wisdom tells us to look at where are friends are GOING. Where is their lifestyle going to lead them? That is the important question we should ask. Let me take a moment, though, and say what the father did NOT say. He did not say to shun them and never speak to them. Too often this is how we instruct our children - and in so doing make them almost fear being around people who are lost. We should stress to our children that they are not to have their best friends among those who are ungodly - but they should befriend them for the purpose of ministry to them. If they do not, how will they hear the gospel? The wisest thing for a father to do is to have his family come alongside him and befriend other families. This way the entire family can reach out to another family and seek to share the gospel with them - father with the father, mother with the mother - and the children with the children. The father does go on to say in verse 16 - that the reason his son should not walk in their ways or paths is that their feet run to evil and the hasten to shed blood. These folks seem to be in a hurry to do what is wrong. The father says they "run" to evil. There are no road blocks in their conscience - neither does it seem to be hindering them from going toward the wrong. God's Law is meant to be a hinderance from going the wrong direction. It is a goad and a road block to tell us that their is a bad situation - a sin that is to be avoided. But these people are oblivious to this - and run to do evil. The shedding of blood is also meant to be a very bad sign. I think there is a natural aversion that God has given us to blood. When we see it - we think that something bad has happened and that we need to not do that again. But these people have what I would call blood-lust. They like it when they see blood and are not averse to shedding it if it will get them what they want. Such people should be avoided at all costs - because they are seriously bad news. Once again we see that a wise man is one that teaches his children about such things. He takes the time to explain to his children that the kind of people they are befriending (not for ministry - but for their closest friendships) will ultimately direct them in a way - a lifestyle will result. What I find sad so often as a pastor is the number of times I know that someone is being charged with being an "accessory" to a crime. This means that they did not commit the crime itself - they were just the friend who was with the fool who did. They didn't say anything to stop them, and now they are being prosecuted for their stupidity for having a friend who did. That is what the wise father is trying to teach his more gullible son. We would be wise if we taught our children the same things - and helped them avoid the kind of friendships that would lead them in a lifestyle that pursues evil.
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I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; And if you run, you will not stumble. Proverbs 4:11-12
Fathers, how well have you led and directed your sons? Would you be able to say what we have read here in Proverbs today? Would you be able to tell your sons that if they walk in your ways, they would live a godly life - one that would not hinder them from growing spiritually and one free from the stumbling blocks that often trip us up in life? The father here who is instructing his son tells him very plainly that he has directed him in a lifestyle that values wisdom. The word for "directed" is a very visual word - describing an arrow that has been shot straight. The way that fathers are to shoot their sons into this world is on a path that highly values wisdom and God's ways. I love that he uses the phrase, "the way of wisdom." Way is the Hebrew word "derek" which refers to a lifestyle - a long journey - a manner of living. The father taught in such a way that wisdom became a lifestyle, not just a series of choices every now and then. This is how we are to educate our children. I believe in education - but not as an end in itself. Education or the acquiring of information and learning - is just a stepping stone to a greater goal. We should educate our children (and everyone for that matter) so that they take the information they receive and use it to walk in wisdom and understanding in their lives. That is how this father taught his son - and what his goal was in the end. The second thing he says to his son is that he also led him in upright paths. Again we see a word here, paths, that tells us that this father led with a view toward having his son learn a pathway. This word refers to a track or a course. The father, by his example - led his son to know the track that leads to wisdom and godliness. He refers to it as an "upright" path. In Proverbs 2:13 the father speaks to his son about staying on the straight path - and not taking the crooked one. This upright path is one that is straight, godly, and filled with what is right. The dad took the time to teach his son godly, holy ways. He did so with such consistency in his life that his son learned these ways - not just from instruction alone. He "led" his son in these paths - meaning that he walked in front of his son - leading the way all throughout his life. The son knew godliness not just by precept, but by example. Here is the beauty of teaching and leading our sons in this manner. The father, in verse 12, now tells his son that there are wonderul rewards or walking in this way. The first benefit is that when he walks, this son will not be impeded. The word here is "yatsar" and it means to be in distress or frustrated. The word indicates a frustrated anxiety in situations. The idea therefore is that the son will not face impediments that will make him filled with anxiety and frustration. This seems like a wonderful promise. But can we truly walk throughout our lives without being frustrated? That seems a little more than we can swallow, being those who have frequently experienced varying levels of frustration and anxiety in life. God's promise here is not a lack of frustrating situations, but rather that when we walk, our steps will not be walked out in frustration. This God provides by teaching us wisdom - seeing life as He sees it. When we do this, we will begin to see all things as beneficial to us - even if they seem bad at the outset. We will find even the most difficult of moments being used by God for our good. We learn to have the same patience that our Father God has as we deal with people. Seeing life as He does makes us so much less frustrate-able. Knowing that all things work together for our good - as we are being conformed to the image and character of Jesus - makes life so very livable. The second benefit the father tells his son that wisdom will bring is that when it comes time to run, he will not stumble. The word for "run" used here had pretty specific contexts. Men ran in battle. Men ran to the defense. Men ran to bring important messages to others. Fathers, we need to teach our sons that there are times they need to run. But we also need to train them so that when it is time to run - to battle the enemy - to defend their family, their friends, the church, their freedom - to bring the message of the gospel and of godliness - that they will not trip and fall because they are not ready. The idea here of stumbling always carried with it that one stumbled either because he was weak or because he had a stumbling block before him. This is where an education of wisdom - to help a young man establish a lifestyle is so vital. Without it he will develop habits and choices that will put stumbling blocks before him. Without it he will be weak when he needs to be strong. Without it he will fall inevitably into the two traps of manhood. He will either become a man who is domineering who lacks a servant's heart toward his wie and children - or - he will fall into passivity and not have the strength o character to lead his family and lead in situations where the world around him desperately needs a man to step up and be a man. Fathers, an awesome task has been set before us. We are to train the next generation of men. That may seem like a daunting task - but it is one that God promises to help us and give us great grace to accomplish. There is no one, dad, who can take your place in this effort. You will be THE most effective teacher for your sons in this endeavor. Do it with all your hearts - because the blessing it will bring to your grandchildren and the world in which your son will live will be immeasurable. And beyond all this, the glory that will be brought to God for the ways that His wisdom will be displayed in your son's life and family - will adorn the gospel and the Word of God in a way that is desperately needed in our generation. Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad, That I may reply to him who reproaches me. Proverbs 27:11
When we have wise sons it is a joy to our hearts as fathers. That is why it is so vital that the current generation of fathers take on the task of rearing a generation of sons who reject this present evil world and its ways and choose instead to live according to the wisdom God offers to us in the Scriptures. What I think we have here is the frustrated cry of a father. He is frustrated because he desires for his son to be wise - yet, he is facing criticism and reproach because he is not. It may be the cry of a father who has seen men before him - godly men in their own right - and yet they were subject to reproach because of the character and choices of their sons after them. The father may have been a man of God - a man of great godly character and actions. He may have been a leader - an example himself. The problem is that his son does not walk in the same way. Think about Samuel the prophet for a moment in this light. He was a man of God - unparalleled in how he served God with all his heart. Yet the one thing that caused the downfall of his ministry - was the way that his sons lived. At the close of his life the people of Israel asked for a king. They asked, not because Samuel was inadequate as a prophet. They asked because by their own admission, Samuel's sons did not walk in his ways. Samuel, as godly as he was - had not learned the lesson of Eli's lack of godly fathering of his sons. Eli's sons were ungodly - and their actions led to the people not being led by godly men. Now, Samuel, after seeing God bring Israel back to Himself - now watched as they rejected the Lord as king over them - because they would have to trust Samuel's sons to lead them after Samuel's death. This they did not want - because Samuel's sons were not men of God. The cry of a godly father who is reproached when his sons do not walk in his ways - is that they would be wise and godly. But as we look back on much of biblical history - it is one littered with godly men whose very sons did not follow in their daddy's footsteps. So what are we to learn here from this passage about wisdom? Fathers, please hear me for a few moments here. You may have a legacy in your own actions that blows everyone away - but it will mean little to you later in life if your sons do not walk in your ways. God calls us as fathers to love our children by rearing them to walk with Him. That is a task that we cannot ignore - no matter how successful we are. It will come to haunt us - as it did Samuel, as it did Solomon, as it did Hezekiah. These men were all godly in their own right - but their sons did not walk in their ways. In all three cases, the legacy of these men was not carried on through their sons. They turned from following the Lord and the result was pretty disastrous for them - and for the people whom they were supposed to lead. Wisdom is found in a father who leads and teaches his son to walk wisely. He does so as one of the most important things he can possibly do in life. The detriment to our society and the church within it cannot be possibly be calculated because our sons often do not walk in our ways. Men leave carnage behind them when they do not walk with God. God wants men to lead in spiritual matters - but when they don't - or sadly can't - what they leave behind is much reason for us to reproach their fathers for not making as an ultimate priority the responsibility to bring up godly sons after them. My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad; and my inmost being will rejoice When your lips speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15-16
What should matter most to us when we think of our sons? I know for a period of my life what mattered most to me was seeing my sons excel at sports. I could have sadly rewritten these two verses with the following foolish edits. "My son, if you do well at football and soccer, my own heart also will be glad; and my flesh will rejoice when I can cheer at your games for your goals and touchdowns." (Dopey Father 23:15-16) First of all I want to state that I am not against sports or competitive activities. When God graciously broke me he still allowed my sons to compete in sports - and I continued to cheer for them on the sidelines. Oh, but how I grieved for the years that I had lost - and for the way I had skewed their minds on what was a priority in their lives. During that time period we set everything aside for their sports careers. We spent tremendous amounts of money following them all over the mid-south (which, by the way, put us into debt). I had my sweet wife miss church along with my sons, so that we could go wherever the coach told us to go. We basically had a very clear idol in our lives - and it is was the dream I had that maybe one day my sons could play college ball - or even make a pro team. But the most devastating problem that was growing all the time was the misplaced priorities that I was putting before my sons. My own lack of submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life - carried over into my son's lives. This story ends well - because of two things. First and foremost because of God's mercy and grace. But secondly, because of some serious repentance on my part - repentance and brokenness that led me back to a proper life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ - and with proper biblical priorities. Let me get back, though, to the proverb at hand. The father here is speaking of what makes his heart glad. The father here was glad, and later even rejoiced that his son had a wise heart. Wisdom was what this father valued most in his son. And it is a wisdom that sees life as God sees it. The father here lived to see his son one day with a very wise and discerning heart. He labored to see that one day his boy would be a man who longed to do the will of God above anything else in his life. This places before us a very important question. Are we as fathers seeing our most important job as laboring to see our sons become wise, godly young men? Wisdom comes from God. We learned this back in Proverbs 2. If we are going to have wise sons, it will be because we have taught them the things of God. Wise sons come from wise fathers who both know the Word and apply it in our everyday lives. The passion that often drives a "sports-dad" will be re-directed into being a "godly-dad." If the Christian fathers who spend hours trying to hone their son into the next Peyton Manning or the next Landon Donovan, would devote that much time to honing their sons into the next Paul - we'd watch a revolution in the church - and in our society in general. Instead of working on passing and catching skills alone - we'd find ourselves spending time also reading the Word with our child. We'd be working on wisdom skills - on memorizing Scripture - and on being able to take the Word of God an use it to properly discern good and evil as they walked through their lives. I know I may be laboring the point a little bit, but think about this for a moment. How many sons are actually going to be playing sports at the college level? How many truly have a shot at the NFL or MLB or the MLS? And how many who make it to those levels of sport will have a wise and discerning heart there to keep them out of the trouble that seems to be following sportsmen in these sports? The truth is very few will make it to these teams, but everyone single one of those young men will need to be able to live a life of wisdom. All of them - even those who do make it - will need "wisdom skills" to walk through life worthy of their calling in Jesus Christ. If you think your son will make it to a college or pro level - have at it. But Dad, make sure that the most important goal you have for your son is to live a life of wisdom an godliness! Make sure HE knows that this is the true goal - and that which would most delight your heart and soul! The father her also states that his inmost being will rejoice when he hears his son speaking what is right. The inmost being spoken of here is literally kidneys in the Hebrew. Dads, your kidneys need to rejoice over your son! Now there is a phrase you don't hear much anymore. "Hey Bob, man my kidneys just rejoice over how Bob Jr. is growing into a godly young man!" The kidneys were thought, along with the heart, to be the deepest seat of emotion and joy in a person. It referred to the innermost and most private part of a person's life. When you are moved to rejoice at that level, you are rejoicing at the deepest level possible. You rejoice because your heart is blessed at the core level of your beliefs and principles. This leaves me with another loaded question. What is your deepest rejoicing about in life? If you find yourself rejoicing deeply at the touchdowns and sports achievements of others - but yawning at the things of God - the exhibition of godly character and true manhood - you are rejoicing about the wrong things. Let me say, I love a good touchdown like most guys - but God has worked to where I get more excited when I watch my sons make godly decisions. The reason this father was rejoicing in his kidneys was because his son was speaking what is right. This is not that his son was parroting some phrase or some rote speech he knew would make dad happy, but that his son was speaking normally - and was saying what was right. This is an important step for our sons maturity wise. Jesus taught us that it was out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth spoke. So when we hear our sons speaking what is right in their normal conversation - it tells us that God has worked in their hearts. It is easy to get a son to say what YOU want him too when he is around you - but it is far more difficult to rear him to say the right thing (the godly thing) as a matter of normal living. This requires God working in his heart. That is why the father was dancing in his kidneys when he knew his son was speaking this way. Fathers, this proverb is vital for us to grasp. We are called to take boys given to us by God, and rear them to be men. This requires doing far more than just bringing home the bacon - and re-living our desires for sports grandeur through them. Taking a boy and making him a man requires that we put wisdom and godliness at the top of our own priority list, and helping our sons to do the same. It means laboring to see a heart-change in our boys by the working of the gospel and the Spirit of God. It means training our sons to love a woman properly - and to have a vision of what God desires for their lives to be. But I will tell you by the mercies of God that when you watch your sons begin to make godly decisions - no sports achievement in the world can come close to the sensation you will get in your kidneys! Live therefore for the glory of God and the blessing of your kidneys as you labor to take boys - and give the world men of God. My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. Proverbs 1:10
Here we are given an inside seat to a spectacle that takes place every day. This event is when a fool or group of fools approach a person to entice him to join with them in their ungodly schemes. This is something we need to see because as Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, there really is nothing new under the son. Men have tried to get others to join with their gang to do mischief for numerous generations. The lies are pretty much unchanged - and yet they are good to know ahead of time so that we are not taken in by the offers of fools whose only true promise is to get us into serious trouble before everything is over. How young people need to read these words and profit from rejecting them ahead of time. Here a father speaks to his son to warn him against such foolish company - and against their foolish offers to "cut him in on the action." His first instructive comment is to refer to those who do such things as "sinners." What is instructive about this word is the comment made by Zhodiates that this word is used, "to describe those who, by their actions, are under the wrath and judgment of God and face ultimate destruction." In Psalm 104:35 we are told that these folks will be consumed from the earth - and in Isaiah 1:28 that they will be crushed and will come to their end by the hand of God. The father warns that these people will come to "entice" them. They will come with words to try to allure, persuade, and deceive. They want to convince this young man to join with them as they plan to do their evil deeds. This may sound all melodramatic to some who read this - but that is only because the world has done a good job of mocking this kind of talk. They do so by overdramatizing the father or the spiritual guide - making him sound stupid when he warns of such things. Their effectiveness has only dulled the minds of our children to those who truly will come to them with such wicked counsel. In the end they only make it easier for the criminal and harder for the parent or mentor. This father is doing a good thing in warning his son about this kind of interview. His advice to his son is not to consent. In the end the boy is going to have to make a decision on his own. Eventually every child will leave the home and will face temptation to do evil. If we do not instruct them - they will face this without godly counsel on their side. This father does an admirable job of letting his son hear the enticing words ahead of time. But the father does so with additional commentary explaining to his son just where such counsel will lead. Hey dad, let me ask you a question. Are you preparing your son to face these things? Are you taking the time to let him hear the kind of things he is going to be told - and then put them into the context of where they will take him? There is a kind of Christian parenting that is going on today that does not think kids should be exposed to anything that is remotely wrong. I agree with this when it comes to exposing them to such things and encouraging them to do them. But what this godly father is doing is exposing his son to the reality of what wicked men will say to him one day. He is letting his son know the arguments - the offers - the lies that will be told to him. Then he is taking those statements and dismantling them before his son. He does so by showing his son where such lies will lead him. The warning his boy receives is a wise one - and one that we would do well to teach to our own children as well. When we think that placing them into a world without any form of tempation of proposed evil will protect them - we may be deceiving ourselves. One day they won't be with us - and an evil man will approach with his slick lies. What will they do then? Will they know how to stand and resist the lies? Maybe . . . maybe not. The only way we can prepare them for such a day is to teach them by exposing them to what will be said - as well as the sure judgment and destruction that comes with the lifestyle that will result. Like a bird that wanders from her nest, So is a man who wanders from his home. Proverbs 27:8
Birds begin every spring by gathering what is needed to construct a nest. Usually they select a place that they believe will give them protection and shelter. This becomes the location where they then lay eggs and work to build a family. The nest serves as the location of safety and of security. For a bird to leave the nest is dangerous. Note that the term used for this leaving is the word wander. The bird is not flying from the nest for the purpose of hunting or finding food for itself and its young. This bird is just following its own curiosity wandering away from the nest to see what he can see. This indicates that we are probably speaking of the young - because an adult bird knows better than to wander from the nest. There is a word for birds who wander from their nests - prey! They become prey for those who are watching to see if they leave the protection and cover of the nest. They are sitting ducks as they go out from the nest just wandering wherever they go. It is a very dangerous thing to just go wandering away. The picture of a bird wandering from its nest is compared to a man who wanders from his home. Here again is God's wisdom. God establishes the home as the central unit of society. It is also the place where God intends for children to be reared to maturity. There God provides for the child two loving parents who are focused on selflessly giving themselves for this child's good. As long as the child stays within the home (meaning its influence and protection) that child is safe. When the child wanders from that place - he is in danger. But what we have said to us here is not about a child - it is about a man. The man who wanders from his home is like the bird wandering from his nest. What would cause a man to wander from his home? There are many things actually that work toward guiding a man toward this disaster. First is another woman. Many men wander from their home and wind up being involved with a woman who is not their wife. They wander away from their commitment - away from their vows to God and to their bride - and much like the bird wandering from his nest - this man is caught . . . trapped . . . hunted and captured. Sexual immorality and adultery are both strong traps that have destroyed many a man who wandered from the nest of his home and marriage. Another thing that causes men to wander is outside interests that begin to dominate their lives. Please understand I'm not against a man having outside interests like hunting, fishing, sports, cars, motorcyles, or whatever else a guy chooses to pursue. What I warn men against is having pursuits that take them away from the home far too often. Our commitment as a husband and father is to our wives and our children. Anything that takes us away from them - and hinders us from being there for them as we should - is not good. It is another way men "wander" from the nest - and leave themselves (and their families) unprotected. There is more to this than just the damage done to the man who wanders away. When he is in this "wandering" state, his family is left unprotected. His sons are untaught in the things of the Lord - and undirected into God's way by watching and participating with their father in vastly important ways. His daughters are left unprotected - and grow up with a sense that they have to take care of themselves. They face dealing with boys on their own - and since dad has been off acting like a boy - they don't know what a real man looks like. Too often this leads to disaster as sons grow up being boys perennially as they follow the footsteps of a father who leads them there by not growing up himself. Daughters grow up unprotected and wind up going out with and marrying the wrong kind of man. There are truly multiple disasters that come from a man wandering from his home. Men . . . God wants you to be MEN! That means leaving behind boyhood and choosing to be the man God wants you to be in your home. The church and our world desperately needs men like this. We need guys who choose to die to themselves and see more and more as they grow older that life is not about them. They grow up and realize that shirking serious responsibilities in the home and in the church is creating a horrific society and a broken nation. We cannot continue on the course we are on - because to do so is to embrace destruction on a national scale. I realize that this is not just a problem for us - it has been a multi-generational problem in our nation. Many of us are like we are - because we have had fathers who wandered from the home - either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or all the above. But we cannot continue on this path - it surely leads to disaster! May God move in our hearts and in our homes to fulfill His promise in Malachi 4:5-6. There the Lord spoke of a day when he would send us "Elijah the prophet" before the great and terrible day of the LORD. His purpose and ministry would be to, ". . . restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers . . ." God's promise here was so that He would not have to come and smite the land with a curse. I think we see all the marks of that curse on our land today. To be honest, the vast majority of the responsibility for that curse lies on the fathers of today and yesterday - for wandering from home. May the work of revival and reformation bring fathers back home - first back to the Lord Himself, then back to their wives and children. Basically - back to the nest - a place they never should have wandered from in the first place. Grandchildren are the crown of old men, And the glory of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6
Here is a verse that we as fathers and grandfathers need to read and have as our goal as parents. It speaks of how grandchildren and children should feel about one another. We are currently suffering from a lack of "fatherhood" in our nation. Fathers are abdicating their responsiblities and leaving children to be reared solely by their mothers (with some children even being rejected by their mothers and being left to a grandmother, relative, or the state system. With all due respect to the moms, grandmothers, and those in the foster care system who are doing their best - dads cannot be replaced. Grandchildren are the crown of old men. We see this in one way when we run into the grandfather who has a wallet full of pictures and a heart filled with pride over his precious grandson or granddaughter. He could tell stories for an hour or more about this precious one who is so dear to his heart. But there is a greater thing we also need to see. Children's children are the product of a job well done by a parent. It is one thing to see our children follow the Lord - and it is a joy to see. But a greater joy even than this is when our children also learn from our example to rear their children in the Lord as well. When we see multiple generations blessed by the work of the Lord in their hearts, we experience the crown - the vicotry that God desires for us in our families. A grandfather who is spiritually minded delights to watch his own children teach his grandchildren to walk with God. One of the things that God desired in His people, was that fathers would take seriously their spiritual responsibility of rearing their children in His ways. This was seen when "many generations" were blessed. This only happens when we see the second part of this proverb embraced. We read, "The glory of children are their fathers." This does not happen automatically. It requires a father who looks at his responsibility to lead his family - and who seeks to fulfill that responsiblity - not for just a day, or a week, or even a year. He seeks to live out God's best for a lifetime. I've watched men do this and it is a joy to watch how their children view them. One man I know personally is his daughter's hero. I watch his 3 daughters as they are around him. Many men would give all that they have to see that look in their daughter's eyes. To these girls, their father is their glory. I also know a man whose son looks at him in the same way. This young man truly has a worthy hero - and the hero is not some athlete or movie star whose life does not deserve emulation. His hero is his dad. Let me say that these looks do not come cheap. These two men have given their lives to love the Lord first - their wives second - and their children third. They have their priorities straight - and they live by them. They don't have a ton of hobbies - and are not men who live for themselves and what they want. They sacrifice and live to please God and to love others. They lay down their lives on behalf of their wives and children. This is a daily act on their part that may seem costly to some men - but these two dads would say that it was a mere pittance compared to what they've received through the love of their families. We have a picture of how things should be. Grandchildren should be the crown of the old men who have them. Children should glory in their fathers. That is the norm in the kingdom of God. The question we should then ask as fathers is very simple. "Are we living in such a way that they have someone in whom to glory?" Our ultimate example in all this is God. He gave and gave - and lives to bless His children - even when they are not exactly worthy of blessing. May we make it our lifelong ambition to be "like Him." Be like the ultimate Father - and give ourselves for our bride and children. When we do so, we will find that there are blessings - marvelous blessings for a job well done in this area. That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:5
We begin to grasp why wisdom and understanding need to be our sister and kinsman redeemer when we see the way that the adulteress seeks to capture men. The wise father here is offering very sage advice to his son - in an effort to rescue him from the snares of immoral women who would capture him with their wiles. Wisdom and understanding keep us from the adulteress. There is something we need to hear in our day - or any day for that matter. If a man does not walk in this world with his spirit open to the Holy Spirit - he will have the normal abnormalcy of walking in his flesh. I call this normal - because it is the state of all who come into this world. I call it abnormalcy because that was not how God originally made man - nor is it where God wants us to be. Too many men, young and old, walk blind to spiritual realities. This makes them sitting ducks for immorality and every other kind of vice common to mankind. It is only seeing things from God's perspective that will guard us from the adulteress. Thus we need to think in cooperation with the Holy Spirit who desires to give us wisdom and understanding - not with our desires and with our labido. We need to be guarded and protected . . . from ourselves. This "strange woman," which is what the Hebrew literally says, is a foreigner. This term may surprise you, but it has more to do with a "spiritual" foreigner than any kind of nationality issues. God warned Israel about the nations that surrounded her because their daughters would intermarry with Israel's sons. God's concern was that this situation would result in Israel's sons worshipping the false god's that these women worshipped. As a result, these sons would turn from the Lord and follow the false gods of the nations instead of the one true God, Jehovah. The adulteress has a secret weapon in her arsenal. It is one that God warns us of - and yet still hundreds and thousands of men fall for it every day. She "flatters" with her words. Men love for their egos to be stroked and pampered. They love it when a woman says nice things about them - compliments them - and tells them how wonderful they are. (As a man, I fear that this comes from the arrogant prideful thought within me that when they do - they are so right - because . . . well . . . because I just so incredibly awesome!) Oh, here is the danger, men! We want the ego strokes because of our pride. When a man has been married for a while - too often these ego-strokes begin to fade in the marriage due to men being doofusses and due to the natural progression of sin. (Just a note to wives . . . ladies, you cannot ever grasp how important it is for your husband to know you appreciate him - and that you still consider him your hero - and a warning as well is needed here. If you don't do this - or think its just dumb to say things like this cause you've been married 5, 10, 20, 30 years. I can promise you that at some point, some other woman may begin complimenting and flattering your husband. He is still responsible to be godly, be pure, and be faithful. But that task becomes all the more difficult - when he receives no encouragement at home - no ego-strokes - no compliments. This makes it harder to resist when someone finally appreciates him. This is not meant to justify unfaithfulness - it just hopefully helps you see that your God-given task of being his helpmate (which includes encouragement and seeing him as your hero) will make it so much easier for him to see the smooth, flattery of the adulteress for what it is . . . a trap!) The adulteress uses flattery to trap a man. She uses compliments and smooth statements as bait for another woman's husband. The word for flattery means words that are smooth and slippery. What a picture of the deception and the lies that are at work here. She worships herself and her own desires - and she is working hard through her slippery, smooth comments to get this poor sap to join her in her worship. He can worship himself and enter into her worship of herself through an illicit relationship. She catches her prey by luring him in through the baited compliments she places into her trap. Wisdom and understanding are essential to delivering us from such things. God's viewpoint is simple men. Are you married? Do you presently have a wife? Then this is totally and completely out of bounds! If this is absolutely outside of God's will for you - then who could be behind such counsel and such temptation? We need to see these compliments for what they are. They are bait on a hook! If you nibble at the bait - a hook is going to tear through the flesh of your lip - possibly rip open your jaw - and no matter how hard you fight, you're going to be reeled in and mounted as a trophy on Satan's wall! My how that description just changed how we view the flattery and slippery speech of the adulteress! We went from being enamored with her beauty and the promise of ecstasy - to feeling sick at our stomachs at the thought of a hook tearing through our skin and the pain that it would yield. Good!! That is what wisdom and understanding are supposed to do. They are supposed to take the silly trappings off of the devil's lies - off of our flesh and its deceptive thoughts - and show us the horror of what truly lies ahead. This is why wisdom is to be our sister - and understanding our kinsman redeemer. They can take the most sensual, inviting situation and show it for what it is. It is going to be horrible! It is going to be bondage! It is going to be regretted in the end! May God give us grace to see these things - to wake up out of the stupor of our fleshly sleep - and see the truth before it is too late. She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it. Proverbs 5:6
Here is another in a list of warnings given to the man who would think of committing adultery. It is part of the description of the adulteress. Before I go into this particular verse I do want to make a comment or two for the ladies. This passage does describe for us the woman who either leaves her husband to have sex with another man - or a single woman who enters into relationships with married men and thus is committing adultery with him. I do not in any way want you ladies to think that any man is receiving a pass here. This passage is dealing with this issue from the perspective of a warning to sons. Fascinating that this warning comes most likely from David to Solomon - two guys who learned much from the wrong side of this issue. David's warnings to his son Solomon were for the most part unheeded in the end - and Solomon's sin was the undoing of Israel. So you can see that the cost of mistakes in this area are great. Fortunately for us - the grace of God and His forgiveness are greater. Nevertheless - a whole host of problems come when a young man is foolish enough to be ensnared by the adulteress. Oh, and ladies . . . the greatest snare for him is not the woman herself - but his own lusts that wage war in his soul. But, with all this said, it is a wise father who speaks to his son about these issues - even if it is from hard lessons learned. The adulteress, like anyone who is willingly cooperating with sin, is not watching for eternal things. The passage states in the Hebrew that she is not watching the path of life. The actual Hebrew word here is "palas" and it means to ponder or to calculate the weight of something. One of the ways it is used is to weigh out a path and see what it will bring to us in the end. The adulteress is not thinking about eternity - about the judgment of God at the end of life when according to the Bible, all men and women will have to give an account of their choices and actions. The word "ponder" here does not mean just a casual thought - but to stop and think seriously about something. She is not thinking about where her actions are taking her. This is kind of a "duh" statement considering we just read a verse earlier that her feet are swiftly moving towards death and her very steps (indicating a direction taken) and taking hold of the place of the dead. Think about this for a moment. Does anyone who is entering into sexual immorality seriously stop and think about the diseases they are opening up to in their lives? Does anyone entering into adultery seriously stop and consider the havoc coming in their marriage - in their family - in their children's lives? There is not a lot of pondering going on here. Honestly, what IS going on is actions based on lust and desire. Sexual immorality usually involves shutting the "ponderer" down and living by the impulses of our flesh instead. The adulteress also is unstable. The word for unstable here means to stagger and walk crooked. It has the idea of someone who is swaying in and out of a path. Rather than ponder and consider the path of life - she is wandering and staggering off the road. Jeremiah 14:10 uses this same imagery to indicate that there are those who love their wandering. God told Jeremiah, "Thus says the LORD to this people, 'Even so they have loved to wander; they have not kept their feet in check. Therefore the LORD does not accept them; now He will remember their iniquity and call their sins to account."' This is the same sentiment we sing about in the hymn, "Come Thou Fount" when we say, "prone to wander, Lord I feel it; prone to leave the Lord I love." This speaks of a "willful" wandering. The adulteress though, is wandering not toward sin with the assurance of God's gracious discipline. She is willfully wandering toward a yawning abyss without seeing its gaping jaws. Her ways are unstable - wandering - staggering toward destruction - but she does not know it. So althought she promises so much through her offer of pleasure, albeit illicit. She does not know even herself where it is eventually leading. Pretty scary description here isn't it? That's the point that David is trying to drive home to young Solomon his son. Remember, David wound up killing Uriah as well as several other soldiers by proxy - had his daughter raped by one of her half brothers - had that son killed by another son (who used his proxy methods to accomplish the deed) - had 10 of his concubines raped in public by his son on a rooftop in front of the entire nation - and had that son die in an effort to usurp the kingdom along with all the soldiers who fell in that battle as well. Kinda cost David far more than he thought to have that one night of hidden passion? Maybe David was wanting Solomon to ponder more than he did - to avoid a similar fate? Maybe whether from success or failure in our moral lives we should do the same with our sons and daughters as well? A fool rejects his father's discipline, But he who regards reproof is sensible. Proverbs 15:5
Why is it so important for a child to learn to submit himself and learn from his parents - especially a son from his father? First, we need to learn from this relationship because we will be dealing with authority all the days of our lives. I love the story of the son who, rebelling against his father's authority says, "I don't have to live under this kind of dictatorial authority, I'm joining the Marines!" Believe me when I say that when we don't learn under the authority that God has in our lives - the Lord is very willing to up the ante on our next authority figure. The second reason we need to learn to live under authority - especially with our fathers is because that relationship more than any other is suppose to parallel that between a man and his God. Only a fool rejects his father's discipline. He looks at his father's rules and boundaries for his life with contempt. He spurns them and rejects them outright. He comes to despise the role his father is supposed to play in his life. Interesting to note here is the fact that this same word is used for blasphemy elsewhere in the Old Testament. Fancy that now - the same term that is used to describe the rebellion of a son to his father - is the same one used to describe the rebellion of a creation to his Creator. The reason we need so desperately to learn how to deal with discpline and correction is because this is the way of life. Proverbs tells us elsewhere that reproofs for discpiline are the way of life. We are rebels by nature - and by choice when that nature kicks into full gear. The better we learn how to deal with disicpline and reproof - the better suited we are when the Holy Spirit comes to bring conviction of our sin so that we can respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ. The one who "regards" reproof is called sensible. The word for "regard" here is our old friend "shamar" which means to watch out for something - to attend to it, to be careful to keep something and watch over it. This word has the idea of diligence and watchfulness over what is said in reproof to us. We listen and regard rather than reject what is said. Oh the lessons that we could learn - and the pain and suffering that we could avoid in life if we would just listen to those who offer us reproof. It is the sensible thing to do. It is wise and prudent to listen to those who can offer us reproof and instruction on how to do things better. It is wise to listen to those who see our mistakes and who desire for us to take a fork in the road so that we don't go the wrong way. It is prudent to listen to those who've been where we have not - who've experienced shame and disgrace because of choices we are about to make. That is why we need desperately to learn how to handle loving reproof - and even outright rebuke. God knows that this is truly the way of life - and the way to avoid great sin and sorrow. Listen to your fathers - and learn from them. This will be a lesson that will be repeated often as others who will serve as father-figures offer additional advice and counsel that can bless your life. If you learn to listen now - while a child - oh, what blessings are in store for you from that one lesson later in life. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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